Let me tell you. When I think of the kind of person who watches Flight of The Conchords, I definitely picture aging Oscar Hammerstein fans that sit around planning their will and sorting old and valuable baseball cards from their secret vaults. 

“Ow, my back. Okay. Let’s see. Who should I give this mint condition 1952 Topps Mickey Mantle card to when I pass? My grandson Alex? Yes. Definitely Alex. I think Henry would appreciate my Julie Andrews autographed Sound of Music album a bit more. Yes, yes. My will is coming along splendidly. Oh! Too Many Dicks On The Dance Floor is on! This will have to just wait a minute…” 

There is a puzzle piece missing that she claims my dog ate. Last I checked dogs don’t eat cardboard, mom.

When I was a  child I had giant, slobbery crush on Elijah Wood. My kid brain was CERTAIN I was going to marry him. Elijah and I were meant to be together and just as soon as I flew to Hollywood with my parents, knocked on his parent’s door and told him, he would know. So, when I read Mr. Ebert’s less than glowing (much less) review of Elijah’s latest movie at the time, North, I was deeply offended. And angry. So what if it was all  just a dream?!?!

Back when the review was published the internet and email were brand new. So new, that I was the only one of my friends that actually had it thanks to my Apple-loving, photojournalist father. I took the liberty of writing Mr. Ebert an email, disagreeing with his review. And ya know what? He wrote me back. I believe it was him because well, I know it was. That was back when “chat rooms” were popular and user comments on reviews/articles/etc. were sparse and I really think Mr. Ebert enjoyed using this newish awesome thing called email. I did. And when I find the letter he wrote me, I will post it because it still stands as the most amazing email I have ever received.

Now that I am older and don’t care about Elijah’s hand in marriage (although I do wish him well), Mr. Ebert still holds a special place in my heart. Which is why I want to share with you in case you haven’t yet read it, the wittiest and most amazing movie review ever to be written. And that is, Mr. Ebert’s review of Sex and The City 2.

My three favorite quotes from the article are:

“I don’t know a whole lot about fashion, but I know something about taste, and these women spend much of the movie dressed in tacky, vulgar clothing.”

“And crotches, have we got crotches for you. Big close-ups of the girls themselves, and some of the bulgers they meet.”

“Carrie also narrates the film, providing useful guidelines for those challenged by its intricacies. Sample: “Later that day, Big and I arrived home.”

Mr. Ebert, you are a dream. Sorry about that bratty, unfounded email I wrote you, long before I could even drive. You were probably right.

Thank you to Bad Guy @marcusist for sending me this gem video and to Bad Guy Becky for also emailing it moments later and writing, “Dude, if you had a daughter it would be that little girl. “You do coke, and you kill people”. Holy crap, it was like I was hearing a miniature you.” Well, ya know what? I’ll take that as a compliment. Because that girl was clearly the STAR of this performance. The other kids could use a few acting classes.  Kudos to the art director though-any play that involves cocaine popcorn deserves two thumbs up in my book.

(Up cakes)

District 9 Poached Prawns

Inglorious Strudel and whipped cream a la Col. Hans Landa

(It was custard. And delicious. Also, did a boy write this name tag?)

(Apple Cider & Rum)

Up in The Airplane Food

(Not food)

Food items not pictured were: Maggie Gyllenchallah Bread Pudding, Inglorious Brownies, Precious Cake, Delicious Popcorn based on the novel “Push” by Sapphire, and two Crazy Heartichoke dips. Sorry for the absent photos, we drank a lot of champagne and forgot we had a camera.