About Fleet Farm

Us Bad Guy’s posting habits the past week have been garbage. Until now. Let’s discuss some things, shall we?

This picture was taken at a semi-joke trip to Fleet Farm. To remind you, “loungewear” means “lingerie.” Yes. In a land far, far off the highway, in a warehouse filled with the dreams and tools of farmers and girl farmers, there exists camouflage lingerie. That real people buy and wear. (I think). I wanted to snap a picture of the actual lingerie but right after this was taken we got yelled at by a disgruntled employee in a blaze orange t-shirt and a nametag that read, “Melvin”. Melvin explained that “there are no taking pictures at Fleet Farm.” In my brain he continued to say, “Farmers do NOT like their secrets revealed. If our farm secretes EVER got out to the public, we, heck, the entire farming industry could be destroyed. What is bought and sold between these walls made of sheet metal contain the secrets and successes of millions of years of farming. If a non-farming civilian were to ever see a picture taken in here, the country’s supply of farms would burst into flames….and ya know what? There’s nothin’ no one could do about it, because the tools you need to put out fires are all sold at Fleet Farm….” And then he spit some Skoal into an empty Pepsi bottle, tipped his stetson and walked off into the fishing lure department. (in my brain.)