Bad Guy Ben watched Top Chef and is pisssssssed…..

And now, Bad Guy Ben, rants about THIS MAN:

“And Robin leaves Top Chef. FINALLY.  Now I can devote all my Top Chef time to hating on the younger Voltaggio dickhole.  Am I the only person who thinks this guy is a fucking douche?  He’s a total cockface.  “I don’t have to say it to anyone, but I got a Michelin star when I was 26.”  Dick, you just said it.  I don’t get the judges’ boners for this guy.  He made a freaking chicken finger with buffalo sauce.  And, oh ny god, what’s this? He put some blue cheese on top!  I love the interplay of the buffalo sauce and blue cheese!  Well we might as well have top chef set in Hooters next season.  Jesus.

Let’s go fat man Kevin.  A real winner, food looks good and this guy can eat.  The other girl, the pothead blonde, I love it.  A complete mental breakdown for my veiwing pleasure? Yes please.  I can just imagine the producers off camera deciding to send other dickhole, Mike from Jersey home last week.

Producer A:  ”well, MIke is a dick and I think he’s starting to grate on people’s nerves.”

Producer B: “yeah, and we found another total dick in the one Voltaggio kid with the fucking knife and fork hand tattoo.”

Prducer C:  ”Totally, and we have to keep Robin around for at least one more week because she is so annoying and sucky and we always keep at least one annoying and sucky person around til the end, hell last year we let an annoying and sucky person win the whole thing!”

Producer A:  ”Hmm, what if we send the blonde girl home?”

Producer C:  ”No, she is having a breakdown.  I want to see how far we can push her.  Get the judges to tell her that she seems like she is losing it and then hide her pot from her.”

Who’s left.  Old Voltaggio robot and Eli.  Ok, I like Eli.  He’s not a great chef obviously, but he thinks he is which is adorable.  He also lives with his parents, which he admits is both bogus and sad. However he is on a cable show, and he still knows how to party.  But what he’d really like to do is do Top Chef for a living.  It might happen.  Shh’yeah and monkeys might fly out of my butt.”

Ben feels greatly about this. Here is something I feel strongly about: Padma having her own sitcom. If you compare her to Charlie Sheen, she could be great. But if you compare her to Debra Messing, she will be a crapbag disaster. The theory of relativity  is everywhere. Just like this swine flu I probably am coming down with. “Who’s Anthony who’s Anthony?”