the elevator chair: a nice alternative to rollercoasters
the decision to put your life in the hands of a giant yellow machine that goes two hundred miles an hour, whips you upside down multiple times and is also called, “Iron Wolf” (or something similar) is a serious decision thousands of americans make every day when they visit popular theme parks. I’d like to offer a safer alternative for hypochondriacs, the elderly, and scaredy-cats alike: the elevator chair. While it only goes .5 miles per hour and doesn’t make any sudden movements, it does get you safely to your destination (up the stairs/down the stairs), and offers minutes of enjoyment, especially when drinking. Do you see Bad Guy Model above? He is thrilled. And drunk.
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Whoa. Those are so dangerous. This man could have been killed just like old mrs. Deagle if there had been any gremlins around…
@Mogwai: asdfkljkl;
Iron Wolf is the reason that I learned I did not know how to pronounce ‘wolf.’ There is no other situation in my life where I would have said the word ‘wolf’ in normal conversation. Observe:
Me (at Great America): Let’s ride Iron Wuf!
Friends: What? Wuf? Wolf is pronounced ‘Wolf’, dummy
Me: Wuf? Wait, Wolf? Ohhhhh.
JERRY!
JERRY SEINFELD!