the elevator chair: a nice alternative to rollercoasters
the decision to put your life in the hands of a giant yellow machine that goes two hundred miles an hour, whips you upside down multiple times and is also called, “Iron Wolf” (or something similar) is a serious decision thousands of americans make every day when they visit popular theme parks. I’d like to offer a safer alternative for hypochondriacs, the elderly, and scaredy-cats alike: the elevator chair. While it only goes .5 miles per hour and doesn’t make any sudden movements, it does get you safely to your destination (up the stairs/down the stairs), and offers minutes of enjoyment, especially when drinking. Do you see Bad Guy Model above? He is thrilled. And drunk.
Whoa. Those are so dangerous. This man could have been killed just like old mrs. Deagle if there had been any gremlins around…
@Mogwai: asdfkljkl;
Iron Wolf is the reason that I learned I did not know how to pronounce ‘wolf.’ There is no other situation in my life where I would have said the word ‘wolf’ in normal conversation. Observe:
Me (at Great America): Let’s ride Iron Wuf!
Friends: What? Wuf? Wolf is pronounced ‘Wolf’, dummy
Me: Wuf? Wait, Wolf? Ohhhhh.
JERRY!
JERRY SEINFELD!