diet coke and lean cuisine
dear secretaries, both male and female,
stop. please stop this diet. millions of you are on this diet. I see you everyday with your pencil skirts/pencil pants and new balance shoes carrying it to work. diet cokes and lean cuisines everyday of your life will not make you skinny and they will make you the opposite of healthy. which is unhealthy. this diet has been going on far too long. and has reached victims at every workplace environment in the country. please ladies and men, stop eating this bland, chemical-filled spread day after miserable corporate day. Stop eating this glob that still leaves you hungry enough to walk to seven 11 and buy a bag of olestra-filled chips an hour after consumption. haven’t you had enough, secretaries, both male and female? I have. I have had enough of watching you be miserable while we eat our not-lean cuisine and diet coke lunches. you practically cry tears that almost drip on our maybe sandwiches because you are so jealous of actual flavor. please, secretaries, both male and female, don’t drip your salty tears in our food. Our prosciutto is salty enough.
thanks,
Us Bad Guys
Do you know what i used to eat for breakfast? Cocaine. Know what i used to eat for lunch? Cocaine.
don’t hate me because i just bought 5 lean cuisine pizzas and a 24 pack of diet dr. pepper. don’t worry, i won’t invite bad guys over for dinner any time soon. at least not until the hamburger helper is gone…
bwah ha ha.
skinny bitch.
dr. pepper: you are the only person I will eat lean cuisines with.
randomesq: you are the only person I will drink diet cokes with.