Bitch, please: Your Weekly GOOP

Blah Blah Some Recipes Blah Blah. The problem with this weeks GOOP is the announcement that GOOP will not be back until September because Gwernerth is taking a vacation. She is taking a vacation from slaughtering ScarJo chickens, reading books for leisure and wearing dresses. I get it- reading Food Inc. and not appearing on magazine covers is tiring. The thing is, really Gwyn, you couldn’t have worked extra hard for a couple of days and line up a few more GOOP’s, just to last you the next three weeks, as to keep your website/newsletter/brag words disguised as help consistent? It’s really not that hard to throw some of your friend’s quotes in to a fucking email and save it. Do magazines come out over the holidays when no one is there? Yes, because they work extra hard beforehand. Do children get Halloween candy when people are away on vacation during trick-or-treating? Yes, because the family goes to Target, buys a huge bucket, throws candy in it, makes a sign that says, “Please take only one” and puts it on their door step. It’s not fucking hard to plan ahead a little bit and throw in some extra effort, because if you keep this up, your website is going to wither into obscurity, just like your Korean jean ad.

Fave Quote: “Goop is going on vacation…we will see you in September!”