the today show wedding
For the past week, America has been voting on what a select couple will have for their wedding and then they will get married on The Today Show. Like a “choose your own adventure”, but it’s someone else’s and it’s on NBC. You get to choose their ring, dress, tux, honeymoon, cake blahblah. Now, this might seem like a great idea for a couple. “Yeah! We won’t have to do shiiiit for our wedding, it’ll be so easy.” But I think this couple is dumb. I wouldn’t want a 50 year-old stay-at-home mom in Arkansas that sits on confederate flag couch covers while she eats TV dinners for breakfast choosing what f-ing dress I’m wearing for the most intimate day of my life that I will be sharing in front of millions of viewers. (I imagine most Today Show viewers to fit that demographic).
Anyway. Today is the day. Sarah and Mark (or whatever their names are) got married on The Today Show. Beautiful. Until you realize, the fucking reception is at like 9 am. They are at The Plaza, drinking wine and eating monk fish at 9 am. Breakfast monk fish. as;dlkfja. sick. Can we get a drunk bride update at noon during the 9th hour of the Today Show, please?
